Do My Angels Make ANY Difference?

Very few people know what my Angels have done for me.  I often think the ONLY person to benefit from my experience with my Angels is myself.  I often think my Angels did NOTHING for ANYONE.  Patty has said the Angels are benefactors in all I have done, but they are the ONLY ones to benefit from all I have done.  And if I think about it this way, I can become VERY depressed thinking I have wasted my life on something that only has benefit to myself.  Sometimes I even blame God that the Messiah has NOT yet come and that I have wasted all these years on something that ONLY has significance to myself.  In fact, I would have preferred to have died from a heart attack than continue to live with hope ONLY for myself.  In fact, I have told Dennis a number of times that I HATE this world.  I don't belong in it and I feel I have NEVER belonged in it.  NO ONE has benefited from my experience with my Angels.  Now, this is the downside to my experience with my Angels.  The upside is that in all these years God has kept me safe.  I have known since the Angels that God will keep me safe.  Nothing will happen to me.  I do NOT worry about death and dying.  I don't worry about being harmed.  So, I have lived all these years with no fear.  But has this been a benefit to ANYONE other than myself since my Angels?  This is a question I ask of God ALL the time.  What benefit has there been for ANYONE since my experience with my Angels?  My answer is that ONLY I KNOW what my Angels have done.  I have kept them a secret from the world for more than 16 years and now I feel THEY only benefit from ALL I have done for them.  No one else seems to think my Angels really matters EXCEPT to myself.  This IS a very depressing thought.  My Angels have ONLY been a benefit to myself and NOT to anyone else.  But there is a HOPE I live with EVERY single day:  This IS going to change.  I don't know if I will change today, tomorrow, or even in ten years or more from now.  But EVERY day I live with the HOPE that my Angels ARE going to make a difference to most ANYONE other than myself.  Peace.  Brother Ralphie